hey guess what... [28 Apr 2004|06:00pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | Mad World- i forget his name. lol ] wow this is old... lol... anyways i just read threw some of my old stuff... lol i don't even rememberr typing any of this... and i doubt any of you look at my journal anymore... lol but my lifes been good.... lost lots of trust in my parents i have noticed, i mean they don't need to say anything i just can tell they always question everything i do now and think twice when i am doing nothing bad, hmmm o well hopefully they'll get over itt soon,.. i mean it's jsut not fun having your parents on your backc twenty-four seven and worrying about you and every little thing you do so please people, as a tip, don't purposely try to loose their trust.... it's not a good idea and if i somehow found out how i lost my parents trust, i would never do it again that's for sure lol but i've been back to the doctors alot lately, i found out i have a disease called cistic fybroid anoma, where tumors can produce in my body anywhere basically.... but honestly that's not a problem with me now really, i don't even notice it at all, and i have two tumors in my left boob.. :( which is weird.. lol but they're getting smaller so that's good, and anome means not cancerous so with all these tumors i could get none of htem will be cancerous so i can't really die from it but lately i've been having to go cause of my heart, i found out that my heart is a birthdefect, it never actually formed right to where now i have a Mitro Valve Prolaspe, which is pretty interesting if any of you have any spare time and want to look it up... its weird cause it said the most common people to have it is usually tall slender girls with bright features and long skinny fingers.. lol ... that's me. but it's where there are two valves in your heart and like one of my valves.. the left one from my atrium and ventrical or whatever doesn't work properly... it's supposed to transport blood or something but it does that, but then it never really closes like it should so a little bit of blood leaks into a thing in my heart where it shouldn't.. the heart thing is serious but nothing real bad, i mean i just gotta take medicine before i go into any kind of dental work or surgury, and if i get a real bad cut cause if something gets into my blood stream, it'll eventually leak into my heart and could cause serious problems depending on what it is in my blood so like alchol and drugs are all twenty times worse for me then anyone else... lol and smoking... wow that's the worst thing i can ddo cause i could die real fast by smoking or having second hand smoking, that's the real serious thing with it though but recently i had an anxiety attack which almost led into a heart attack, it was freaky, i was so scared, i thought i was going to have a heart attack i was sooooooo scared, and it heart so bad., it was the worst pain i have ever felt in my life, i couldnt breath and i was shaking and i coulldn't talk straight i couldn't think straight, i felt like i was going to die, i couldn't think straight to were i felt like i was going crazy and i got real paranoid and wow it was soooo scary, my chest was so tight and heart that i swear if i had a knife... i would have cut oppen my chest... no lie, it was sooo painfull, i couldn' breath and all i wanted to do was releave my chest pains, so i wanted to cut open my chest man honestly i would rather have any other pain EXCEPT any kind of fire paain, i hate fire, i'm scared to death of it, but any other pain i would take other than that again, it hurt so much but anyways lol i have to wear a monitor to see if i have another attack so that they can have it on tape and see what caused it and i'm sick of this monitor, i got it on yesturday morning... i went today this morning and i had to get another put on, and tomorrow i get to take it off for good, but if i don't have an attack tonight, then i'll have to wear a monitor for a week, so the only way i want another attack is for this dumb doctor to get it on tape, then never again do i want one! lol anyways i'm probably boring you guys to death so i'll shut up lol well hey talk to me on aol thingy at x17xVOLCOMx89x or email me at x17xVOLCOMx89x@hotmail.com... alright? love you guys Bye Bye :) if your bored click here

one of the best no doubt songs [08 Feb 2004|02:41pm] [ mood | enraged ] [ music | system of a down- atwa ] @*~*@Running Lyrics@*~*@ Run Running all the time Running to the future With you right by my side Me I'm the one you chose Out of all the people You wanted me the most I'm so sorry that I've fallen Help me up lets keep on running Don't let me fall out of love Chorus1 Running, running As fast as we can Do you think we'll make it? (Do you think we'll make it?) We're running Keep holding my hand It's so we don't get separated Be Be the one I need Be the one I trust most Don't stop inspiring me Sometimes it's hard to keep on running We work so much to keep it going Don't make me want to give up Chorus 2: Running, running As fast as we can I really hope you make it (Do you think we'll make it?) We're running Keep holding my hand It's so we don't get separated Running As fast as we can I really hope we’ll make it (Do you think we'll make it?) We're running Keep holding my hand It's so we don't get separated Repeat Chorus 2 twice That is one of the ultimate best no doubt songs ever written... lol i love that song alot.. its real cute and sweet... but anyways how are you people doing? oOo michael if your reading this then joey needs your phonee number so if you could email me at GreenDayGurl1789@hotmail.com and tell me.. id appriciate that so much... lol inplus i want to talk to you too i havnt talked to in in soo long. my lifes been alright lately.. nothing real bad... nothing real good.. you know... same same.... hmmmm confusing stuff been going on, nothing important though.... ummm beth if you are by any chance reading this then DONT talk about something on this. you should know what im talking about... but ill call you later on cause i want to talk to you about it anyways i love you guys and i miss talking to many of you people... i havnt talked to most of them florida people in sooo long hmmm well im bored sooo im about to go..... tal;k to you later email me people.. lol talk to you later Love You Guys.. well most of you Bye Bye if your bored click here

hey [26 Jan 2004|11:15pm] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chilli Peppers ] hey you guys... im so dumb when it comees tot his i never find the right time to update it and when i do have the right nice enought time.,.... i dont cause im lazy.. but now i am but it wont be long cause i think i got gay sckool tomorrow.. thats if all the snow comes falling down again and they cancel sckoool :) i hope so.. thats what happened today so hopefully itll happen again.... i didnt go to sckool thursday cause my throat hurt and then friday we had off... so lets see one... twoo..... three... four.. five day weekend!!! yea for me!!!! lol anyways things are alittle hectick.... i mean life is alot better than it use to be.... ill admit that... but things are still going worse... but for the most part im not lonely or depressed anymore,... lol i got me a life and im satisfied with it but yea so.... as far as happiness.. im pretty happy with things... but theres some things im paranoid and getting worried about and i donno why.. well i do.. lol but i donno anyways hows you people doing???? thomas??? micheal??? lindsey??? beth??? liz??? patrick??? lol even though i donno if any of you read mines anymore.. lol but anyways... hows eeverythingg with you guys.... im alright as i said yea but anyways i hope we dont got skcool tomorrow.. i really do.... its hard to concentrate on sckool most of the time when people are always talking crap about each other and tryiong to start fights and stuff..... i donno i just get sick of people and how they are its soo sickning how peopele make fun of other people arrnd embarass them in fronnt of other people... in order to heighthen their self-esteem.. they think it makes them look betterr than that other peerson but honestly all it does is make you look like a jerk.... i hate it when people do that people i know... i wont say any names... do it all the tiime and it friggin pisses me off i donno.. but i need to shut up cause im jsut weird.. lol anyways i got to go to bed i guess i dont want to but then again i do i just know id have to wake up to having to get ready for sckool and going and having a horrible most unfunnest tiem ever id rather stay home watching tv.. or hanging out in my room by my self.. or with another person.. then go off someplace or go over to someones house so i donno well ill talk to you guys later i guesss love you all!!!! (welll maybe some of you) talk to you later Bye Bye *~*_MuCh+LoVe_*~* Brittney Huskey 1 officially bored| if your bored click here

!!!BACK back BACK back BACK!!! [07 Jan 2004|09:47pm] [ mood | mischievous ] [ music | nirvana- all appoligies ] im back.. from a long time.. lol sorry about everything there was just alot happening and too much to keep up with so you know... didnt have time for this anymore.. but today my friend thomas taylor.. lol .. reminded mee about this journal thingy. well so now here i am again im very happy with maryland now... i have a real good friend named rachael.. and more friends..... i have the twins.. melanie and melissa... autumn.. aaron...chris.. ryan... ummm lol lots more anyways other than sckool i got other friend like eric kristina and patrick.. well theey were joeys friends but now theyre also my friends too umm well anyways nothing REAL new.. for christmas i got a cell phone!!! yay.. lol a virgin mobile... anyways its real cool just you ahve to put money on it and tis ten cents a minutes.. and i have to pay for it 1!! lol so now thats thehard part.. no job.. but yet i have to pay fro it i tried applying at weendys.. but when eric took me up theree.. they said how old are youa nd i was like 14 and they were likee well right now we are just looking forr 16 year olds.. not 14 or 15.. but htey do hire 14 and 15 yeear olds... jsut they werent looking for any but anyways yea that sucks cause i need money.. i need to save up to have spending money when i go down back to florida and for my college plans which i have none now.. so i neeed to save moneey for it... and i want to put money away for a car when i turn 16 so yea.. thinking about my future lol therees nothing bad about that now is there??? lol hmmmm yea inteeresting.. im obsessed with cat int he hat, lol... i was sooooooo happy to find out that they madee a new and improved movie on it.,.. but then again i havnt saw it yet.. but my mom bought me the remodeled version of the cartoon" The Cat In The Hat" and they remodeeled iut soo much that it wasnt the same!!! which sucks alot!!! anyways... yea..... hmmm i donno what else to say anymore hmmm........... i got a new punisher hoody!!! yay and its blakc with the punisheers kinda skull like image thingy... umm anyways i kinda quit the whole guitar thing.. its too much to keep up with and i only did it mainly cause it was something eelse to do over the period of years inwhich i was always bored and had NOTHING to do.. so i started that but now i have TOO MUCH to do... so then i stopped.... anyways yea i miss my florida friends id like to give a shout out to the following: THOMAS TAYLOR BETH GRUNINGER LINDSEY FETTIG LANCE NEELY (even though i havnt talked to you in a while! lol) WILLIAM GREENE MICHEAL MOLINA SORRY IF I SPELT ANYTHING WRONG OR IF I FORGOT YOU just reeply to this and remind me. im sure it was a good intend to forget your name.. lol if thats possible anyways SHOUT OUTS TO MY MARYLAND HOMIES (lol): RACHAEL HILE MELANIE HALE MELISSA HALE AUTUMN WILLIAMS AARON TAYLOR RYAN PLANTE CHRIS BLANKENSHIP PATRICK STOUT ERIC MINDEL KRISTINA CRUZINA (lol) SAME AS THE ABOVE RULE::::: MISSPELLING OR FORGETTING lol anywayd oOo and hi to all joeeys old friends too!!! sara and liz! lol umm alright even though i doubt anybodys gonna reead it anymoree but hey ill update it later LOVE YOU ALL Bye Bye 2 officially bored| if your bored click here

heysshiss [09 Nov 2003|12:03am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Corey Taylor (slipknot)-bother ] lol its been a while... im bored... kinda tired i guess.... hmmm what to tell... well i donno really... but like the P button just got fixed yea!!! anyways my eyes are all fogging up cause of my contacts but yea ill pbe ok...... i guess well beth lindsey michael i miss you guys.... and ummmmm hi to the rest of you guysa.... and ummmmmm well seriously i have nothing to say i watched tomb raider today with patrick and then i was about to go to bed but i felt like getting online so here i am... sckool suckss.... umm lots of little arguements with people already.... lots of confussing stuff and LOTS OF IGNORANT PEOPLE!!!! and yea so whatever lol oOo and alex.... yea im mad at you.. but theres nothing i can do... you said we were in love.. well i was.. i doubt you were and i don care n more.... im trying not to care anymroe cause youve messed wiht my heart alot now that i thinkabout it... you like to go out with my best friends and my enemies... so yea thats kinds painfull ... but nope im not going to care cause i dont need to waste my life on thinking about you and worrying about you and yea your probably like what are you talking about? but i dont care thats how i feel talk to you later guys theres really nothing to talk about! lol Bye Bye if your bored click here

hey [26 Oct 2003|11:58pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | outside - staind featuring fred durst ] yea its been a while... lol o well... youll forgive me ummm nothing really that iportnat lately... umm ive decided not to drink smoke take pills or cuss anymore i want to prove to myslef that i can do whatever i want.. as long as i tell myself it and try my bestest lol umm lately ive beeen hanging out with rachael melanie and melissa and autumn and aaron and ryan at sckool and joey eric and patrick at home.. unless i go places like friday i went ot the baden dance and that was really fun i had lots of fun..... and staurday i went to the skating place and that was also reaLLY fun... ummm today i hung out with eric and patrick all day soo yea this weekend was kinda fun i ugess now that you think about itys BYE Bye 2 officially bored| if your bored click here

hey peopels [24 Sep 2003|08:35pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | a perfect circle- weak and powerless ] wow i cant spell been another while till ive updated... it feels like a chore to do it so i dont update it much lol i got a new email and sn thingy itsa GreenDayGurl1789@hotmail.com & GreenDayGurl1789 ok? ok my life... hmmm nothing interesting all day yesturday i tried helping joey with his van we put a cd player in it... fixed a fuse or two and fixed a tail light o and patrick helped too hes cool but like i blew the radio fuse cause i dropped the thingy and he got pissed.... he has a bad temper i tell you but in the end like around 12:30 we finished o and patrick left around 11:30..... so it was just me helping him after that then he took me to 7:11 and paid for me to get nachoes and a slushy how nice well im tired but i donno im taling to rachael and william from florida... i miss my littel buddy hes cool..... i telly ou hes gonna be sooooo cute when he gets older.... you can just tell when you look at him..... hes like a lil brother to me though well i gotta start my laundry so talk to you guys later Bye Bye if your bored click here

WOW [10 Sep 2003|05:05pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Misfits- Last Caress ] beens a loOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOng time since ive updated... well if not it seems like it but anyways hmmm lets see had lots of fun so far at school.... got lots of friend..... rachael specifically is cool.... then theres more but mainly ive been hanging out with rachael.... outside of school that is last friday she came home with me off the bus... we went and saw freddy vs jason with tara it was cool.... then saturday we went to her little cousins birthday party one turned 4 the otehr turned 7 the 4 year old reminds me SoOoOoOoOoO much of me... when i was her age... small long brown hair... shy.... cute lol and the other reminds me soooo much of tara when she was her age long blonde hair... cute..... boyish... very abusive and steals lol she stole my chain.... so now i have no pants chain besides the other one that connects to my belt o well but then that night me and rachael got Hallie to drop us off at the movies...( same as the night before) and we were gonna see jeepers creepers two... but before we got there in the movie theaters parking lot... her old car shut off... so we had to push it into a parking space so we went up to the booth adn Hallie (23 years old) went up to buy us the tickets and they wouldnt let her... they actually htought she was 16 and asked her for id which she didnt have on her so we waited till her boyfriend got here... adn eh bought us the tickets... pay for them too.... and we got caught so we had to switch them out to see SWAT well o well i say it about 2 weeks before but it was alright ummmm we met up with her friend caroline and her boyfriend tommy, and his cousin..... dont know his name but he was almost 19 years old anyways i will not say everything that happened that night...... no JOEY nothing with a guy or anything but ***ill keep shut*** anyways then sunday i spent the night at her house again with ehr friend crystal shes cool.... more stuff i cant tell....... and then o around 11 or 12 that night we got on top of the board of education building,,,, lol it was sooo funny but anyways we were gonna break in but the alarm went of when we pushed the opened window so we ran to the parking lot but anyways it was cool um i stayed the night again monday night (monday no school... tuesday i went to school with rachael) but yea..... um nothing really exciting until thursday night which i can tell what all happened because joey knows about ti lol anyways it was the opening of the football season. and it was a concert thingy with lots of people.... good charlette, areosmith, aretha frankilin, mary j blige and more people i think i dont really remember i went with rachael adn hallie and we got lost on the metro so we didnt make it to the concert until the last five minutes with aretha franklin singing the national anthem it was cool.... um we bought some type of vodka.... or however you spell it and hallie and me drank alot of it.... rachael didnt though... but i got practically drunk... well anyways we got hit on by these two black bums... scary anyways another i cant say and um thats about all the exciting ness of my life so far hopefull yi can have fun again this weekend... i donno so ill talk to you guys later Bye Bye 1 officially bored| if your bored click here

lkh [24 Aug 2003|02:52pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | hands done - dashboard confessionals ] well i havnt been online in forever so.... havnt updated anything either so here goes...... the family from maine (aunt karen, uncle rick, bam, lacey, josh, mickey, and crystal,,o and their two ugly dogs came for about a week was kinda fun did cool stuff um recently well erics been over for aboit 3 days....came here friday night.... and joe peirced his ear (well re-peirced the whole just closed up) and then we tried to gage his ear from an 18 to a 12 ... didnt work out... we hurt him so bad... joe couldnt do it ,... so i tried... i couldnt do it.... then i donno what else hapened..... me and lacey got kicked out of his room..... its all cool though anyways so saturday i gaged erics ears from an 18 to a 14 or 16.... (we used my old gold hoops.... eric bended them in almost a line.. but it curved at the end so that it wouldnt just come out) then after like an hour I put in the 12's..... the second whole that we screwed with the night before took a while and bleed ALOT!!! i mean two paper towels FULL of blood... it was about 20 minutes of pouring blood.... cause i ripped off all the scar tissue so thats why and the other whole he had in his ear in the first place wasnt hard to get the 14/16 and 12 in at all.... that sucked but o well ummm the boys rented May, and Children of The Corn... Issacs return... or something like that May was AWSOME!!!! lots of blood... and creepy ness..... thats AWSOME and Children of The Corn... Issacs Return was gay and stupid.. i didnt really understand all of it since it was the first Childrens of The Corn movie ive ever sawn... and i didnt care for it either um the family's gone too got to go Bye Bye if your bored click here

hmmha [20 Aug 2003|06:41pm] [ mood | angry ] [ music | about a girl-nirvana ] im pissed at myself today.... im OVER alex finally.... its kinda a fresh thing to no im not "in love" with anyone no more... i mean i love him... just not in love with him he ''got over me'' and is now going out with my old best friend caitlin... and talked to my other old best friend lindsey about going out with her next year... totally different side of him i tell you, but o well i guess i finally saw the true side to him... makes me feel so blind though... cause before when i broke up with him he wqent out with my best friend at the time audrey...... and hes went out with my enemies before too so i sound likje a fucking idiot... but o well i think thomas doesnt want to talk to me anymore i guess thats ok cause i am annoying and as he says '' i always talk about music'' i dont always, just something i have an interest in talking about with people... cause most my friends like the same music so its an easy subject to talk about but o well.... im doing fine my mom on the other hand.... i just was playing around last night with my cousin lacey and put on black finger nail polish now its just finger nail polish and shes like '' were not starting that all over again with you'' and i told her '' mom im not gothic and im not ever planning on becomming... thats not me'' and she was like well i know but she doesnt anyways i asked her if maybe later when we nextly go to maine f i can get my nose peirced and she slike dont start that with me... so whatever i just want my tongue and nose then thats it..... i only got my belly button..... whatever i barely type anymore... sorry guys..... but i dont get much online anymore I LOVE YOU LINDSEY I LOVE YOU BETH lol Bye Bye 4 officially bored| if your bored click here

jg [09 Aug 2003|04:09pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | punk nadasurf -popular ] hmm havnt added one in a while but went to this club thiungy with stephanie and my sister last night... it was awsome... found out where the white people in maryland all are... lol but hey i dont feel like typing and i donno when im gonna add a new entry to soo talkt to you later if you wanna talk talk to me on aol... - VoLcOmEgUrL13 ok? ok Bye Bye if your bored click here

oowee [07 Aug 2003|02:35pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | 311 ] well my eyes ich.... but then i think it doesnt... maybe its all in my head well last night i stayed up talkign to this guy jose' .... hes cool um ill add more later im listening to music and dont feel like typing lots of stuff hehe if your bored click here

hehe [06 Aug 2003|10:47pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | all in my life-foo fighters ] well it seems like no one ever replys anymore... i kinda liked being replyed to on this thingy... it was cool... i knew people were accually reading it... and that i wasnt just talking to the computer but anyways i got contacts today... not like i wear my glasses anyways but o well their cool.... my eye doctor lady thingy person said i did good it took me like only 5 minutes to put in my contacts and take them out and then put them in again... it was kinda fun lol but i could only wear them for 4 hours today and then 6 hours tomorrow and then 8 hours the next day and then 10 hours the day after the next and then 12 hours the day after the day after the next and so on lol but nothing else more interesting going on in my life... o i got school clothes but i donno if i already mentioned that o well but anyways if you guys wanna see them (um people i accually know) ill send you the pictures my mommy took of me in them hehe lots of pictures... lol but anyways talk to you guys later Bye Bye 2 officially bored| if your bored click here

update [04 Aug 2003|07:13pm] [ music | inside out- eve6 ] hmm you guys know me and lindsey are friends agagin and shit.... and i went shopping gfor school clothes yesturday!!!!! my dad spent more than $300 on me but im all done and you poeple in florida think thats alot like me... but people here are like 300??? dang thats cheep i tell you rich peopel..... its hard to keep up and um my head hurts again so i might just stop typing now... but i got like 3 people talking to me at the same time and someone on the phone so im gonna go Bye Bye if your bored click here

today [01 Aug 2003|10:11pm] [ mood | hyper ] [ music | silence-mudvayne ] today i did.........................................................................................................................................................................................................NOTHING!!! wow boy.... lol hmm really i cant remember what i did earlier... i remember joes friend eric came over for like 5 minutes they left to go somewhere and ive been on the computer ever since kinda... talking to my friends lol but mainly none of them are online... well i poured me a BIG glass of chocolate milk!!! mmmmmmmmmmm i drank it all though by now hmm... anyways i took more pictures today.. i rarely take any cause i dont like my pictures... but the ones i took tonight were all play around ones... so their not serious.. thats why i like tem.... i look insane in one. but hey liz you got pictures on yours!!! i want to know how to get them on mines.... but since i read you explain it to some other girl a long time ago... its too complicated.... so i was wondering if i could like send the pictures to you.. and give you my livejournal password... and you do it for me!!! unless you dont want to.... which i understand so you can if you want... but dont feel pressured o anything to do it cause i know how ya feel if you dont,... so anyways i found my cousins volcom wrist band!!! wow somehow it got here from maine... how cool but anyways is mine!!! unless when she comes back she wants it back... and then il be nice and give it back but its cute its black and the volcom sign is green... hmm i like it i was with her when she bought it too but anyways my dad wants on soon so ill go now Bye Bye if your bored click here

hahaha [31 Jul 2003|11:42pm] [ mood | geeky ] [ music | warning-incubus( i put what im listening to, the incubus cd) ] i must sound like a little hipocrite or whatever but hey me and lindsey are friends again!!! yea!!! i like spilled my guts to her brother and his friend thinking it was her i like told them what she does that bothers me... all that ive tooken to the wrong way and like evrything so i feel clean... hehe but anyways i found out it wasnt her and she got on and i was like all i gotta say now is im sorry for whatver i did and she was like .... im sorry too so i guess thats a good thing god i sound like a hipocrite but hey i got one friend back and a new friend!!! LJ's friend jose' hehe well Bye Bye if your bored click here

gees [31 Jul 2003|09:10pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | i wish you were here- incubus ] ok lindsey bullshit is pissing me off soo bad!!! she sent me an im earlier when i was aboiut to go mow the back lawn... but i was here just about to leave with my away message on. anyways she said something like '' thomas told me you been talking bad about me and running your mouth.. you need to quit running your mouth and say it to my face'' now im not quoting her cause i forget EXACTLY what she said but this is pretty much it. now LINDSEY... im gonna take my smart mouth and go off on you... hmm how long i have been waiting to be a smart ass to you lol but hold on seriously i love her soo much as a friend... and i at first thought of it all as games nothing serious but i forget how SERIOUS that girl is and how UN serious i am... i am barely EVER serious so its hard to bring these two personalities together now anyways lets give a short detail thingy about her and me.. well she new who i was in 6th grade and thought i was a ''hoe'' and yea... she admits to thinking this but we never talked... then in 7th grade we had pretty much all our classes together.... which she got to know me and we became friends... eventually cause me and Almost ALL the azians in the frigging school had problems... thats a long story that maybe just someday ill explain but LATER anyways she was friends with about all of them.... so when this one azian started pulling stupid shit on me... i thought it was all games too... cause at that time we were still friends.... well at the begining of the year i didnt have too many problems with azians so we got along and were kinda friends.;. but i forget what she did... but i thought it was a joke... and later the next day lindsey came up to me while we were about to walk up the stairs to go to homeroom after lunch... and she said '' when she blah blah blah... did you think she was playing around'' and i was like yea but im not sure i cant tell.... and she just started laughing as ignorant as possible..... so we got off at a bad start for me i guess so at first she thought i was a hoe and at first i thought she was an ignorant bitch. so someonehow later n we became REALLY good friends.. and i liked being her friend.. she awsome to be around and as i said i love her to death BUT ANYWAYS shes pulling this shit on me saying i come to her with all my problems and i make her worry for me... and i NEVER listen to her problems or even try to help her out well i do listen to her and she never asks for help at all... and im sure if she did i would do my best to help her out... but im just giving up i know i shouldnt but i know if i keep bugging her and trying to find out exactly what the hell she is going threw.. shell just start to hate me more so im gonna wait and she is she talks to me online or calls me or anything... and if not hen that just means she must not want to talk to me anymore or be my friend which to tell you the truth i can deal with it, it doesnt bother me to loose another friend, ive gotten used to it by now trust me i moved away from all my friends.. tis practicaly the same but anyways the thing i know i couldnt handle is her telling me shit like your not a good friend you never listen to people or help them out and shit like that... i already have low selfesteem... and if im told im a shitty friend then that'll just drop my self esteem more about 100 times worse my main goal in life is to help people in need... thats why i want to get into teh navy for about 4 to 6 years ... then go into detective work and stuff like that... i just would rather know im helping out people then bringing home lots of money its not the money to me when it comes to the lives of people... im just that sensitive.... i dont like hurting people... getting mad at them... or making them mad i cant handle knowing i made someone have a bad day ro some hing liek that but anyways im just gonna listen to music for a while and wait for joe to get home... so i can have something to do... unless he comes home and leaves again... which will possibly happen o and as for being a smart ass ive decided not to be one... i dont want to hurt her anymore than i supposidly already did if your bored click here

:( [30 Jul 2003|05:26pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | joe-inspection 12 ] well joey s at warped tour without me :(..... and lindsey's still pissed as ever... now caitlin c. and michaels not talking to me... well me and michael have never talked online... only once... but still hes not answering me so whatever she said to them about me must not be good... i know im ignorant and stuff but if your supposed to be my best friend you SHOULD know that by now... and im going threw alot.... kinda... well thomas is not liking that lindsey is doing that to me... neither is alex.... aww i got the boys votes... but not the girls... thats bad.... girls understand easily.... guys think of everything as a joke normally.... so that must not be good then also hmm i donno im gonna start working out or something i weigh 108... thats alot for me i guess.. im 5'4 5'5... so i donno i just think i should be about 105 or something . hmmm ive always ad problems with my weight so nothing new well im gonna go talk to her friend brittany.... shes constantly saying i do the ignorant shit and i dont care for lindseys feelings and shit... but ill put up with it i guess Bye Bye 2 officially bored| if your bored click here

o my [30 Jul 2003|12:29am] well i just got explained about lindsey... she has problems lots... and she takes stupid shit from me... and i have been talking to her other friend brittany for about an hour about it,.... and i feel horrible about it... but shes been taking shit from all her friends... and i tell her things that i dont expect her to evan care about... or even worry about... but she does and thats bad, cause most the shit ive told her are little things and too many little problems are bad and alex realy does like me as much as people said... ive always doubted it... its cool that we finally had this conversation, now i know the truth tonight has been ruff you guys dont understand the half of it.... but if i were to take the time adn explain it... well i wouldnt... hehe tooo confussing but hmm im gonna check my email even though no one ever emails me. he people make a difference and email me!!! VoLcOmEgUrL13@hotmail.com hehe Bye Bye if your bored click here

well im tired [29 Jul 2003|10:47pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | boys in the hood... ] not tired as in sleepy... tired as in bored i guess i donno... im talking to alex and lindsey in a chat. its alright except alex is playing the ''o i hate you'' and hes playing around but it bothers me too o well ive missed him!!! i ate way too much today... pizza and pie... and a slushy... and soda... and TOO much of it ALL. my belly button keeps scaring me it gets... pink and swollen then goes down so i cleaned it in the shower when i took a shower and its all better now i think for now alex is completly ignoring me now... kinda... lindsey's talking to me i want my diet coke but its all the way in the kitchen and im in my mom and dads closet desicions desicions... well in maine i drank lots of wine coolers.... margoritas and pina coladas... or however you spell those well i have nothing to talk about so ill go Bye Bye if your bored click here

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